Man arrested for having sex with store mannequin
The guys here at the Daily Happy Pill were amazed this week to hear about a couple of real f*@king dummies who were both arrested in separate occasions last month for having sex in public with store mannequins!
Firstly, we heard about the bizarre case involving Michael James Plentyhorse, 18, from South Dakota who was discovered in a very compromising position with a half-naked female mannequin by a security guard at Washington High School Alumni Room in Sioux Falls.
Photo 1: The sexy model in this photo described her partner as a real 'Dumb F*@K!'
Photo 2: Wow! This clearly abused mannequin appears to be even more damning evidence than Ms Lewinksy's infamous dress.
"There was inappropriate activity between him and the mannequin," a police spokesman told reporters. "That's the only way I know how to put it."
But it also appears that this was not an isolated incident. A spokesman said security staff had previously reported the same mannequin found undressed on several occasions.
"I had always assumed that the white sticky stuff we used to find the dummy covered each morning was simply paint splashes from the recent store renovations", the spokesman told our disgusted reporter.
But it appears that shagging the hell out of a life-sized piece of plastic is not limited to horny teenagers in South Dakota.
Last month, in a separate incident, a 30-year-old Turkish shop assistant
was also arrested after colleagues discovered him sleeping naked on the store's floor surrounded by several disheveled dummies when they arrived to open up the department store for the day.
They decided to call police after noticing bite marks on one of the mannequins. Two other mannequins that showed signs of abuse were also taken in as evidence.
Apparently, the man had hidden in the toilets the previous evening as the store was being locked up for the night. Then after his colleagues left, the little pervert unleashed his pent-up sexual tension on several of the store's female mannequins before falling asleep naked in the store's window display.
A spokesman for the store urged female shoppers to return any pair of panties they had bought from the store within the last six months that may have been displayed on the unfortunate mannequin.
"Just bring them in along with a receipt and we'll be happy to give them a good rinse. No questions asked", store owner Abu Bu told our reporter. (Shudder!)
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