Man shoves pencil up penis to stay hard during sex
We've all been there. You've just been on a hot date and your potential new lover has just asked you to come up for "coffee". She puts on some music and disappears into the bedroom to 'slip into something more comfortable'.
"FInally, I'll be able to use that condom that been in my wallet since New Year's Eve 2000", you think, as you prepare yourself for a night of hot passionate sex. But wait! The beer is having its toll and the old John Thomas just isn't responding. It's going to be like trying to stuff a marsh mellow into a slot machine. So what do you do?
Last week, Zeljko Tupic, from Serbia, came up with a rather drastic solution to his problem but ended up needing emergency surgery after sticking a pencil inside his penis to keep it stiff during sex.
Photo 1: "Are you in yet?" - "What do you mean? I've already cum!"
Photo 2: Pencil Dick is also known for his espionage skills. After all he could get in and out of tight places without anyone even noticing.
Zeljko Tupic, from Belgrade, told doctors he had experienced erectile difficulties in the past. So as he prepared for a night with his new lover, he decided to insert a thin pencil into his penis. (Maybe he should have just tried using more starch when washing his underwear?)
But things didn't quite go to plan and Tupic had to cut his sex session short when the pencil shifted and became lodged in his bladder, forcing him to call an ambulance, the daily Kurir reported.
Doctor Aleksandar Milosevic from Belgrade's Zvezdara hospital, who successfully removed the pencil, said: "At first the patient did not tell us what really happened, but x-rays proved the truth.
Tupic, or Pencil Dick as he is now known, told reporters that he had no idea there were things like Viagra available but agreed that in future he will try pills before he takes any more chances with pencils.
"I've never been much of a lover", Mr Dick admitted to our staff. "It all stems from a loss of confidence that I suffered after my first sexual encounter. "
"She told me I was the worst lover she had ever had", a tearful Tupic recalled. "But she wasn't being fair. After all, how could she make a judgment like that after only three seconds?"
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